Hey there!
You know what? I just realized something. I believe I forgot to tell you about
the concept of value. It's one of the most important things when interacting with
women and yet I see guys mess it up all the time!
Why didn't I think of mentioning it sooner?
Ok.. here goes.
High Value = Attraction
If you're seen as having high value, women will want you.
It's a huge oversimplification, but in a way, High Value = Attraction.
Remember that email about trying to entertain people? Well when you try to
entertain people, you sub-communicate that you need to impress them and
therefore you have a lower value than them.
Mistake #1 Trying to Pick Up Women By Asking Them For Advice
When you ask women advice on dating, women, you sub-communicate
that they are more knowledgeable on the subject than you, thus they are the
teacher and you are the student (That lowers your value).
Does this mean you should never ask women for advice? Well, no! But
understand that if you DO ask a woman for advice on dating, you just lost
all your chances with her so don't hit on her after!
Why?
When you ask someone to explain something to you, you're immediately
lowering your value.. if only a little bit. So ask your friends for advice, ask
girls you don't care about for advice, but DO NOT ask women that you
like to explain things to you. (At least not at first.)
Mistake #2 Losing Value Because of Early Eye contact
One of the biggest mistakes I see guys make is that when they first walk
into a new environment, they actively look at every girl in the venue! It's a very
small sign, but if you're desperate and looking for women, you'll immediately
"scan" the room when you walk in. However, if you're satisfied, happy and just
going in to have a good time, you won't be "scanning the room" as soon as you
walk in.
As soon as a girl sees you "scanning the room", your value goes down! So
if you're going to do it, be subtle about it!
If you make eye contact FIRST, you have lower value because you are
checking THEM out first. Remember this!
However, once you are talking to a girl, keeping strong eye contact
is great! Don't mix up the two!
Good: Keeping strong eye contact when you talk to a woman.
Bad: Checking out everyone in the room when you walk in.
Here's a little trick I have... sometimes I like to walk RIGHT in front of a girl and I don't even glance at her. That way, I know she noticed me and she'll think that she noticed me FIRST, which increases my value.
Mistake #3 Being Poorly Dressed Compared To Her
If all things are equal, then the person that is the best dressed will usually
have the highest value. That means that if a girl is wearing a nice dress, fancy shoes
and you're wearing old boots and a t-shirt... she'll have higher perceived value.
It's a simple thing, but what you wear says a lot about you.
Mistake #4 Being a Follower
In most interactions, the person that is leading usually has the higher value
and the person asking what the other person wants to do has the lower value.
For instance, if you're ask a girl to go somewhere and she says: "I have to
ask what my friend wants to do first" that's bad! And it's because you have
less value than her friend!
Don't compete with friends, but understand that the person that the decides
usually has the most value.
Mistake #5 Trying to Get Someone to Like You
This is pretty simple: If you're trying to get someone to like you, then they
have a higher value than you. That's why the "nice guy" always gets screwed over,
because he's always doing things for others so that they'll like them.
It's weird and counter-intuitive, but that usually ends up in other people
taking advantage of him and him losing all value. That's why when the nice guy
finally gets pissed and says: "I've had it!", no one really cares because he already
lost all his value.
Does this mean you should be really concerned about everything you do
in order not to lose any value? Of course not! It's very important to have a
balance and understand that although some of these lower your value, you can
still be successful with women.
For example, if you're a confident and popular guy but you just happen to be
wearing normal clothes, you can still attract a girl that's all "dressed up".
It's not ONE single thing that defines your value, but rather an accumulation
of hundreds of little things.
To be honest, sometimes you just can't avoid lowering your value,
and that's Ok.
For instance, if you talk to someone first, you will have lower value (briefly)
because you approached them (the most beautiful girl in the room isn't going to
go out of her way to talk to people, they usually come to her).
Is this bad? No! Of course not.
If you don't approach women, you probably won't meet that many!
However, when you do approach her, you should already have enough
value built up that lowering it a little won't even matter. Just be aware that every
bit of value adds up!
And at the end of the day, High Value = Attraction
Sincerely,
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